15 August 2025

Kia ora koutou

I often read what Dr Todd Kashdan comments on when it comes to my attention... there is always something that sings to me!

A recent piece was about friendships and what children do so well and how adults may learn from them. Children mainly seem to befriend one another with such ease and curiosity. I wonder how us adults can tap into this type of refreshing simplicity... it's not complicated at all! Children seem to have this sincere interest, shared enthusiasm, and straightforward openness - they aren't overthinking their moves! We know how easy it is for children to meet each other for the first time and 5 minutes later they declare "This is my best friend". They find a crew at lunchtime and it's "We are starting a club"

Children care about shared energy. 

"Hey, let's play on top grass"
"Let's all have a dancing competition outside Tautoru"
"Let's play zoos!"

I love the way Dr Kashdan discusses how children have the ability to open weirdly.
"What's your least favourite dinosaur?"
"Do you like cucumbers?"

Dr Kashdan’s work across curiosity, psychological flexibility, and wellbeing shows how letting go of adult overthinking can revive our ability to form authentic bonds and teach our children to do the same.

I loved his emphasis on heartfelt connection and how it doesn’t require history, expertise, or too many rules. I think we, as adults, can just get too hung up on these things - whereas our children can show us the way - leading with curiosity, flexibility, and an element of play.

Here’s to friendships that were sparked at primary school for both children and their adults. There is plenty of opportunity to connect here - maybe even have a go at opening weirdly - who knows what may happen!

https://toddkashdan.com