17 February 2023

If you were at Karakia on Monday, you would've heard me mention to the children that I was recently challenged about the mindset I was bringing to my thinking about a particular project. Hmmmmm, I thought - I'm very good at reminding the staff and children about mindset - maybe I need to do a bit more 'embodiment' myself!!

Mindset is something we have actively focused on for many years and obviously one we need to constantly revisit (as I have been reminded!) 


Our language is so powerful. Our actions are so powerful. In every word and action, we can send an unintentional message to children. Our language and actions as parents and educators give children messages as to how to think about themselves. It can be a fixed mindset message that translates as "You have permanent traits and I'm judging them" or it can be a growth mindset message that says "You are a developing person and I am interested in your development".

 

The thing is, no matter our age and stage, we don't become desensitised to these messages. We can think we are boosting children's self esteem with a "You are so quick at that, so clever"; "You are so brilliant at that - such a natural". We can think we are being such supportive adults. However, children can also hear another message: "If I'm not quick at something I'm not smart"; "I can't do anything that's too hard as I might not be a natural at it"; "I'm not trying, I might fail".

 

So, whilst children love to be praised by us and get a great boost....., it's only momentarily though - it won't last when they hit a bump in the road..... We need to be wary of praising intelligence (big word!) or, similarly, talent. 

 

What's a better alternative? What kind of praise should we try and bring to the fore?

 

Focus on the growth orientated aspects, what they accomplished with grit, through input, through effort... appreciate their choices and persistence:

"You are really expanding your brain, good on you. It's hard work!"

"I love the way you have so many ideas for this, you are so focused on this."

 

I'm certainly checking in on myself and am trying to make sure my praise is growth orientated as much as I can. It's tough work being in charge of developing brains. We won't get it right 100% of the time!

 

In saying that, I could overhear snippets of some of the Goal Setting meetings this week and the conversations were very much focused on strengths, application, focus and growth.... but always  a good reminder!

 

Carol Dweck is the leading light here - if you are interested, there are a lot of her TED TALKS, etc, on YouTube..... or one of her books in my office to borrow.