29 May 2026

I often hear us asking children to ‘pay attention’ or ‘to focus’. Sometimes we may seek the same from friends, whānau and partners! As we are well aware, some of us have great difficulty for a variety of reasons, and for some, they just haven’t learned how to… yet.

We can easily blame technology – the instant streaming and pinging tablets, 10-second videos, games and more games – our children's brains are being constantly bombarded with distractions.

The other day, I plucked an old faithful off the bookshelf: Focus. In this slightly well-thumbed, dust-gathering copy, Daniel Goleman gives a reminder that attention isn’t something you either have or you don't. It is a mental muscle. If we don't use it, it gets weak. But if we exercise it, it gets stronger. Goleman explains that children need to practice three different types of focus to get where they hope to – it’s known as the "3 Focus Superpowers."

• Inside Focus: This is your ability to check in with yourself. It’s noticing when your tummy is fluttering because you're nervous, or catching your eyes drifting towards what’s happening out the window instead of reading.

• Other Focus: This is your ability to read others and try to understand their feelings and situation.

• Outer Focus: This is understanding how you fit into the wider world. If you don't pack your school bag the night before, it makes the whole family have a less than wonderful start to the day.

(Speaking of which, I spotted this just after I wrote this piece: RNZ: Getting the kids out the door for school drives me bananas)

Part of our big push this year is this ‘developing eyes for others’. Whilst it can be age and stage-dependent, it is also something that can be taught. In a world that is moving fast, with so many choices being given to children for where they are at on their developmental trajectory, let’s keep trying to create these wonderful human beings who can focus that bit more – who can manage their emotions, make strong friendships, and solve complex problems. If we can treat attention as a skill that needs practice – just like basic facts – rather than a behaviour, I think we will go a long way to help our kids navigate our noisy world with more ease.

On that note, we are creating cohorts of twitchers. The bird observations Rose has been doing with some of the seniors as part of a maths inquiry is a fabulous opportunity to practice focus.

And if you missed the last NME workshop, pop down this date: Thursday 18 June, 3.15-4pm. Suz will be unpacking the NME model, all very much about the Inside Focus. I know the parents who could make the NME coffee chat last term all went away with plenty to think about – focus on even, maybe!

Ngā mihi nui