31 July 2026

Kia ora koutou

What a terrific couple of weeks we have had. This second half is gearing up to be a cracker!

Recently, I bumped into a parent who was here quite a number of years ago now. We chatted about what the children are up to - both in their 20s and enjoying themselves - yay. I remember a time when things weren’t going as smoothly for them all and she was off to see Mary Willow - a parent educator and mentor.

Now, I had no idea who Mary Willow was at the time but I’ve always remembered the name as it’s got a lovely calmness to it. A few weeks ago I came across an article in The Post all about her latest book Breaking Through: How to Rescue Childhood and Heal the Parent-Child Relationship.

Whilst these days I am purely looking at this through an educator lens I felt that although written for parents it’s highly relevant for teachers too. After all they are the one’s providing the guidance between 8.55am-3pm.

I thought I’d share some of the key takeaways from her work - they may not be new to you - or for you - but for some of you it may spark an interest in reading further.

Here we go:

We are responsible for supporting the development of two different parts of the brain:

• The "True Child": Curious, enthusiastic, open, loving, and capable of connection and emotional regulation.

• The "Guard Dog": The ancient survival/defence brain. Its job is self-preservation, safety, and reactivity ("me first, me only").

The suggestion that if we give children too many choices it can be a burden to young brains and activates the Guard Dog. If this part is in charge this is where we can see things like hyper-vigilance and anxiety - frequent meltdowns which can become hard wired.

Firm boundaries are essential - and children can run freely when they know where the ‘fences’ are.

Clear rules - with these the Guard Dog settles and the True Child can step up, learn, connect and grow.

Children need adults to take charge with calm authority. Handing control to a young child too early makes them feel unsafe.

Creating a steady framework through daily routines and predictable structures supports a smooth flow.

Building Resilience. The goal isn't to remove every obstacle or give in. Validate emotions while holding the line. Children need to know that discomfort is temporary and manageable.

Holding the line and being predictable isn't always easy - something I personally try and work on Monday-Friday!

Here’s to a great, grounded, and joyful weekend.